You are not me and therefore you are WRONG!

I am a single, child-like almost 30-year old night person. That makes me an enigma to so many people. The married people, for instance. How can anyone be happy being alone? For the record, I am almost never alone. The voices in my head keep me occupied most of the day. The grown-up people don't understand insane giggling at sharks riding bicycles. And the day people. They scare me. If God wanted us to be up during the day, He would have made it dark.

I am completely okay being un-normal. Normal people make me sad. Why not go live in Communist China if you want to fit in so much? That's part of what makes our country so great: We can do almost anything we want! Get whatever job, live wherever, sing for people at the ATM, make it look like aliens abducted a college student, you know, the usual stuff.

Most psychologists would have a problem with the word 'normal', but I think they are kidding themselves. There are cut and dried rules for society and I violate most of them. I think I amuse people and they keep me around for a short time, but then they go back to being normal and forget that I was there being weird.

People are not, by nature, solitary. Read The Stand and that might be made a little clearer. My brothers, for instance; I've never seen any of them - EVER - single. Ever. There might have been a short period between girlfriends or something, but they were always out looking for someone. When I say short period, I mean weeks, at the longest time, maybe, a few months. That's crazy to me. Why do people need this? I can barely be around people at work...and I work alone so I mean during 10-minute breaks when everyone gathers in the break room.

The reason I act like a kid is I still am one. I realized at a young age how miserable grown-ups seemed. Work, bills, family, responsibility, blah, blah, etc. I didn't want to become that. So I decided I would become an adult. I'd have the normal things, a place to live, a job, but I refused to become a grown-up. I still enjoy kids' movies (I do not require a child in the room to watch these), I spin in circles just to make myself dizzy, and blowing bubbles with soap and a stick with a circle on the end of it still fascinates me. Sue me, being a kid kicks ass. And I can say 'ass' and no one yells at me. And I almost never get grounded.

I have been a night person since I was, at best guess, negative nine months. Mom tells a hi-larious story about me letting some stranger in the house in the middle of the night. When I asked her why I was up, she said that I used to wander around at night. I remember night after night of laying in bed, trying every technique I'd ever heard of to fall asleep. Counting sheep. That didn't work because the sheep were so cute I kept laughing at their antics. The alphabet, forwards and backwards. Nothing worked. My sister tells me that I'm not a night person because, of course, there is no such thing (duh), despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Such as the fact that I sleep great during the day.

That kills me. Just because I am not like you - exactly - then I am either making it up, or just wrong.

I have a very extensive imagination. I use it every day and exercise it regularly, keeping it strong. Some people, my family as an example, don't have much imagination and therefore, just don't get it. They can't believe that I have a magical portal to another world in my closet. Mainly because I don't, but if I did, they would not believe it. They couldn't imagine that. I imagine it all the time. If only I knew the right door to open at the right time of day and the right frame of mind to be in as I opened it.

I do have a point and it is this: I am weird. If you are not weird, you are dumb. Fitting in is for generics and losers. I can understand a little. You don't want to be made fun of. You want to be liked. You need approval. Yea for you. I'm going to go watch a shark ride a tricycle and ultimately get crushed by an anvil because sharks aren't supposed to ride tricycles. If you don't understand, too bad.